how to make love
by BLANCintrigue
Summary: sometimes, it's hard being a parent... please R&R. Enjoy


**Title: How to make love**

**Author: BLANCintrigue**

**Summary: A curious boy, a dense Maou, a short temper bishonen and a prank plan by Yozak. The result?**

**a/n: My first humor fic.**

**a/n: I repost this due to some mistake that I've just noticed shortly. Sorry~**

If there is anything that Yuuri would appreciate the most, it would be his tea time. Tea time means an escape from a hectic day. A time to relax and to enjoy a delicious tea and a wonderful snack. And if there's another thing that he would appreciate in Shin Makoku is its weather. It always sunny and bright. Not too dry and not to wet. A perfect weather.

"What are you smiling for, wimp? If you think about other person, I swear I'll kill that person after I castrated you." Wolfram gave a good glare to his king.

Yuuri laughed sheepishly at the threat. By years Yuuri learned that denying only will infuriate the prince but there's a way to encounter it.

"How could I make love to you if you castrated me, dear?" Yuuri asked, trying to sound as mischievous as he could.

And he succeeded. The statement put a deep blush on the porcelain cheek and Yuuri enjoyed the expression so much. Yuuri just amazed on how shy Wolfram would act toward teasing like that even they had been married for eight years. He even acted like a virgin during sex! How cute.

"Baka Yuuri! Don't say something like that! What if someone heard it?" There was anger in the tone but the blush that still lingers on the beautiful face denied the tone.

"What? No one is here. I can assure you that it is safe even if I'm going to take you now." To prove how serious his words are Yuuri move closer and started to caress Wolfram's tight.

"Yuu…, Yuuri… Stop it!" However the action is not as stern as the words. Wolfram started shuddered at the touch when Yuuri hand move to his private part.

"But you getting hard already. Maybe I should help you. Don't you think so, dear?" Yuuri said. There's a hint of mischievous in the tone. He really loves to tease his Prince Consort. Wolfram reaction always priceless!

"Yuuri! Not here! Not now!" Wolram hissed. His hand grabbed the other hand quickly. He could feel that he had half aroused by his husband and by further action, he afraid if he can't control himself anymore. Screw Yuuri for being a good seducer!

"Daddy! Papa!" The small voice from a distance startled the couple. In a flash Wolfram had pushed Yuuri causing the Maou to stumble from his chair.

"Ow… Wolf!" Yuuri said, half angry.

"Oh Shinou. I'm sorry Yuuri." While helping his husband to stand, Wolfram looked at his son who's running toward them. "Don't run, Yuuhi. You might fall."

Slowing his pace toward his parent, Yuuhi stop just a few inches from them. "What happened, papa? Why you pushed daddy?" The small boy asked.

"We are joking, dear." The answer caused Wolfram to glare at Yuuri. Joking your ass!

Yuuhi look at his parent for a while before smiling and charged toward Wolfram to hug him. Wolfram caressed Yuuhi's hair affectionately. Yuuhi had a black jet hair and a pair of onyx eyes, both resemble Yuuri. And that is the reason why they choose Yuuhi for his name which means setting sun as what had been told by Yuuri.

"You seem in a good mood. Mind you tell us about it?" Wolfram asked while sitting on his chair. He lifted Yuuhi and sat the boy on his lap. Yuuri smile at the display. Each time he saw Wolfram and Yuuhi, he will feel calm. So calm like that he didn't mind anything anymore. Even he's facing bankruptcy or being diagnosis with fatal disease or even the world would come to end, he wouldn't mind! He had already had a perfect life, a loving husband and a very cute son.

"I saw something interesting today!" The boy answered energetically.

"I'm sure it must have been very interesting that it makes my little prince so happy. What is it, Yuuhi?" Yuuri asked while sipping his tea.

"Daddy, do you know how to make love?" The question causes Yuuri to spur back the tea he is drinking. Wolfram frantically pulled a handkerchief to wipe the tea from his husband's cloth while at the same time try to clarify what he had heard. Should his ears be wrong, or this is not his son speaking right now.

"Come again Yuuhi-dear." Yuuri asked, half choke. At the same time hoping that he had heard it wrong. Did his seven years old kid just asked him how to make love????

"I asked you, how to make love?" This time the both Yuuri and Wolfram know that they are not old enough to be deaf.

The couple changed a look with each other without knowing how to answer the question. Of course! Who would know how to answer such question? Yuuri looked at Wolfram signaling quietly, 'you answer him. I don't know how to.' Knows exactly the meaning of that look, Wolfram sighed. Why he need to take care for a trouble?

"Well, dear. Why would you ask this?" Wolfram asked lovingly while brushing some hair from his son's forehead lovingly.

"Tomorrow is Aurora birthday. I want to give her love. So much love until she can't take it anymore."

The answer once again froze the couple. Aurora is Yuuhi's cousin or to be more exact, she is Gwendal's daughter with Gunter. A five years old girl with gray hair and violet eyes. They look at each other again and this time Yuuri could see a pure shock in the emerald orbs.

Calming himself, Wolfram took some deep breath and asked again, "Yuuhi, where did you get the idea about this thing?"

"Just now I saw uncle Conrart make love with uncle Yozak. When I asked them, they asked me to ask you and daddy. So, how to make love, papa?" Yuuhi asked again, looking up to meet his black jet eyes with emerald one. Being oblivious the boy didn't realized how his father eyes harden but Yuuri could see that clearly. It said, 'Those two are dead!'

When Yuuri realized the blond didn't answer their son, Yuuri knew that Wolfram might thinking and simulating how he would kill his half-brother and his partner. Seem like it is his time to take the job. Usually he will let Wolfram take care about their son first. Its not that he didn't like Yuuhi or he is a lazy father but Wolfram had growth more motherly side in him that he always know how to take care of any difficult thing. Well, as an example like this.

"Yuuhi, we afraid we cannot answer that." As he said that, he ruffled Yuuhi hair lovingly and at the same time offered an assuring smile to his husband.

"Why?" Yuuhi asked innocently. The boy started swinging his leg unconsciously.

"Because we doesn't know how exactly the right way to explain it to you." Still trying his best to stay calm, Yuuri replied.

"Then you can show it. It will make thing easier though."

"WHAT?!!" Wolfram snapped. His voice startled both Yuuri and Yuuhi. Both double black looked at the blond. One look was shock and one look is worry. Shocked at the sudden outburst and worried that Wolfram might go find the one responsible for this and killed them immediately.

Well, it's not that he is backing Conrard and Yozak, he is also angry that those two didn't know how to take care of their sex life but he didn't wish Wolfram would kill them too. He thought that Conrard and Yozak would settle down after Gwendal got married to Gunter but it seems that those two didn't find agreement on each other. Conrard want Yozak to stop being a spy after they got married, but Yozak on the other hand still want to continue his job. So Conrard end up being the only eligible bachelor in the family.

"Wolf-dear, calm down." Yuuri tried to calm his blushing but infuriate husband.

"Yuuri, do know understand the situation here? Our son is asking about how to make love. And now he asked us to show. How could I calm down?" Wolfram bent toward Yuuri and whispered to him. Even in low voice, there is a clear irked in his voice. How could this wimp asked him to calm down when it is obvious that he should be mad?

"Dear, I know that you are mad, but think about the baby. This anger, it's not good for you. Both of you. Gisela had already remind you about this, right?" Yuuri whispered back. His tone holds a lot amount of concern and love that it somehow calmed Wolfram a little.

He leaned back to his chair and sighed. It's been a week that they founded out he's pregnant with his second child. For Mazoku, when they get pregnant, the child will consume on his parent's Maryoku so that he can develop his own Maryoku later and that was the main reason why he need to be careful with his emotion. If his emotion being interrupts, so do his Maryoku. Even Yuuri's Maryoku could stable any fluctuation in his Maryoku, still he is the one who carry the child. So Yuuri was right, he needs to calm down.

"Honey, I think you should get some rest." As he said that he lifted his son from Wolfram's lap and sat the boy on his lap.

Upon seeing the hesitation on the beautiful face, Yuuri added, "It's okay. I'll take care of this, I promise."

"Let me call Aurel to accompany you." When Yuuri is about to call for their private guard, Wolfram quickly pulled Yuuri's hand and shook his head.

"But…"

"It's okay. I want to walk alone."

Yuuri studied the beautiful face in front of him for a while before sighed in defeat. "Just make sure to be careful, will you?"

"Yuuri! I'm not sick!" Wolfram interjected. Annoyed with so much concern. He already stands from his seat.

"Where are you going, papa?" Yuuhi asked. He looks up to meet his gaze with his father.

"Well, dear. Your baby told me he wants to sleep and he asked me to sleep with him." Wolfram force himself to smile to his son.

"Is it?" Yuuhi asked energetically at the same time jumping from his Yuuri's lap and hug Wolfram. He placed his ear on Wolfram's belly.

"What are you doing, dear?" Caressing his son's hair he asked.

"Nothing. Just saying goodbye to my younger sibling." The boy answered and continued, "Bye. Brother promises that brother will make love to you when you born."

And Wolfram snapped again that a pure horror could be seen on his face. Realizing that Yuuhi didn't help much, Yuuri quickly pulled the boy toward him and stand just to hug his husband. He can feel the other was trembling in his arms.

"Wolf-dear, it's okay. I promise I'll take care of this. Everything will be okay. Just go and take a rest." He was amazed with himself as he had said everything in one breath.

Pushing his husband rather roughly, Wolfram turned around and stormed away. Yuuri feel an urge to chase the furious blond but there's other thing he need to take care of.

"Yuuhi, listen to daddy. This thing, don't ever mention it in front of your papa again."Yuuri knelled down and place his hands on his son's shoulders.

"Why? Is it because papa didn't know how to make love?"

There's nothing more relieving to Yuuri than Wolfram had already gone to their room. If Wolfram heard this, he doesn't know how Wolfram would react.

"No, Yuuhi. It's not about that." And he means it.

"Uncle Conrart said daddy is an expert in making love." This time Yuuri blushed furiously. What kind of statement did Conrart gave to his son?

"Look dear. I don't know what you had saw your uncle is doing, but it's not something for children like you to see." Yuuri stressed his voice in each word. He needed to make sure Yuuhi listen to what he said carefully.

"Why? I thought it was something common. Everyone should know about it. And uncle Conrart said, in your world, especially in your country, everyone knows how to make it. Uncle Conrart even mention that the people in your country love to do it in their free time and they do it a lot."

Yuuri gaped at his son's comment. Aspirin. Yes, he knows he needs it now. His head is already hurt and he even feels like fainting. This is too much!

"Yuuhi! Listen! There's no way I would teach you how to make love! And whatever you saw, whatever you heard from uncle Conrart and uncle Yozak it was wrong! You are a kid Yuuhi. And you are just seven! This thing is not for children!" Yuuri tried his hardest not to yell at his son. So he just makes sure his words are stern. Stern but not yelling. But when he saw fright in his son's feature he feels a little regret for being too hard.

"Look Yuuhi, I'm not mad at you. I just want you to know, I did this for your own good. I promise, when time comes, I will teach you about this." This time Yuuri's voice was calm and loving.

There's a clear disappointment on the cute face and Yuuri hate himself for causing it.

"If you cannot teach me how to make love, then you can teach me how to make star. It seems easier than making love. Could you?"

"I think I can…" it took full five second for Yuuri to consume everything that his son had said. "Wait! Make star?"

Something hit Yuuri. There's something wrong here. Make love? Make star? How did that two thing relate with each other? Star and love didn't relate with each other!

Pouting at his father Yuuhi pushed Yuuri's hands on his shoulder and sat at one chair and cross his hand in front of his body. It surprise Yuuri on how much resemble that posture to his husband's.

"What? You can't teach me this too?" Yuuhi said sulking.

"Yes. NO! Yuuhi, tell me again. Why do you want to know how to make love?" Demanding an answer, Yuuri looked straight into the black orbs.

"I told you so! I want to give it to Aurora. Her birthday is tomorrow."

'Give it'. Give love to Aurora. For present.

Popular in Japan.

Do in free time.

Everyone knows how to do it.

Each words playing in Yuuri's head. It feels like doing puzzle and he is collecting the clues together. Wait! Does it mean???

Feels confident to test his theory, Yuuri asked, "You know, how if I teach you how to make crane?"

"That would be great!" The boy beamed. "But it seems so hard and I think girl would like love more than crane."

Jackport!

"You want me to teach you how to make love origami are you?" Yuuri said half scream.

"Ori-ga-mi?" Upon seeing the how the boy stumbling to pronounce the word, Yuuri knew Yuuhi never heard that word.

"Yuuhi, why don't you tell me that you want me to teach you how to make love with paper?" There's a silence. Make love with paper? Why did that sound weirder?

"Anyway, it was heart, not love. Yes, heart shape and love shape is same but usually, it pronounces as HEART shape, not LOVE."

"But uncle Yozak asked me to ask you like that." Yuuhi answered innocently.

Great! A prank and it's not even April!

"Uncle Yozak? Yuuhi, after this, don't listen to him anymore. Not even a single word. Understand?"

"But why?"

"Don't ask. You would listen to daddy would you?" The question received a nod.

"Now let's find your papa before he kills someone."

* * *

"You smiling and it was a wicked one. What's on your mind?"

Yozak look at his lover and smiling wider.

"I wonder how your brother and kiddo would react. It must be fun to watch. I was thrill to know if they manage to figure that thing out."

"First of all, stop calling His Majesty kiddo, and secondly you should be careful. Wolf might kill you if he knew about this." While busying himself with the origami, he makes sure his partner know how serious his words mean.

"But it was funny though. If they know that Yuuhi just asking about how to make a heart decoration like this," Yozak pulled a complete heart shaped origami. "They would be furious!" Placing back the decoration Yozak chuckled lightly, "with me!"

"I CERTAINLY WILL!" the cold yet deadly voice behind him cause Yozak to freeze. He looked at Conrard with pleading look.

"You got yourself into this. I don't want to involve." The ignorant means that he is dead!

Turning slowly, he meets the furious blond. A smile is playing on the beautiful face, but it written, 'you are dead!'

"You know, I can explain this."

"Not after I burn you to crisps!" As he said that a very fierce fire lion emerged behind him.

* * *

An explosion that erupted from somewhere in the castle startled everyone.

Halting his step Yuuri knew that it was too late. He sighed and just hope that Yozak manage to survive the death god by the name Wolfram von Bielefeld.

~End~

**a/n: happy new year to everyone! =3**


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